It’s time to talk money for your mental health

‘Money talks’, so the song by Adventures of Stevie V goes; and yet we Brits struggle to talk about our money problems.

Talking about money is seen as a taboo subject, with people feeling they will be judged if they talk about their financial issues.

Fears such as breaking up relationships or impacts on employment are common amongst those in financial difficulty.

“There's still quite a lot of stigma around debt and money worries, especially amongst men with financial anxiety one of the leading mental health issues affecting men,” says Rob Harvey Vitality’s Adviser Editor.

“This means people often bottle up their money problems and try to deal with them without the support of friends or family or expert advice”

Rob Harvey, Vitality Adviser Editor 

On top of this, some 47% of the UK population said they were concerned about their finances going into 2024; that’s almost one in two UK adults concerned about how they can afford to pay their bills.

Coupling this with an inability to talk about financial difficulties, there is a real risk of it impacting our mental health.

“Money plays a crucial role in providing many of our basic needs: food, shelter, clothing, to name just a few,” says Silvia Cordoba, Vitality’s Mental Health & Wellbeing Coach.

“These are essential not only for survival, but also for helping us feel safe and secure,” she adds. “When we feel secure, it helps set the foundations for a healthy level of mental wellbeing.

“The uncertainty around finances may cause us to feel vulnerable and perhaps less able to manage that stress in healthy ways”

Silvia Cordoba, Vitality Mental Health & Wellbeing Coach

Overcoming barriers of talking about financial constraints can be difficult, but opening up can offer practical ways to help the situation and relieve anxiety.

Harvey adds: “Even when people are willing to discuss their money concerns, it’s often not easy to know who to turn to.

“Whilst there are lots of debt helplines and organisations, financial advice and guidance services, it can be a bit overwhelming.”

So, for Time to Talk Money Week, we are encouraging conversations around money to help alleviate the strain financial difficulties are putting on the UK’s mental health.

Get comfortable talking

Money and death are probably two of the most difficult topics to talk about. But money trumps death.

Findings show that 61% of women would rather talk about their death than money – so it’s unsurprising that striking up a conversation about our cash flows is a tricky one to start.

Cordoba notes that many of us are hesitant to talk about money problems because it makes us feel vulnerable.

She says: “Even though we can all experience them, financial difficulties seem to be seen as personal failures, leading to feelings of guilt or shame, even though these struggles are common and nothing to be ashamed of.

“This can affect our personal relationships as stigma may cause people to withdraw and isolate.”

However, if you’re in a financially difficult situation, talking to someone – whether it be a partner, family member or friend – can give you the support you need and help reduce stress.

You could start the conversation with:

• “There’s something I’d like to talk to you about and I’d like your advice.”
• “I wanted to ask some advice, do you have time to chat?”

Remember, if you are having financial troubles, not divulging the whole picture won’t allow the person you are speaking to help you effectively.

“It’s best to be open and honest about these things and the chances are they’ll have experienced similar things in many cases,” adds Harvey.

He does, however, warn to be “careful taking ‘financial advice’ from friends and family, as their circumstances could be quite different, but definitely don’t shy away from discussing money and having open conversations with a loved one.”

Cordoba adds: “Even though it is difficult, opening up about money worries can be incredibly helpful both from a practical point of view, and in receiving emotional support.”

She also reminds people that there is no need to apologise: “There is no shame in experiencing money worries or in being honest about feelings.”

Offering your help

If someone comes to you for help with a financial problem, it’s important to know how to help and support them.

First and foremost, being judgmental won’t help either party, even if it is a difficult conversation to have.

Being level-headed and not getting angry or upset can help both of you to think clearly about a situation and to move forward.

“Money is a sensitive topic and a good way to approach it, like anything, is with kindness,” advises Cordoba. “If you suggest any source of support, do it in a kind and caring way.”

She adds: “People who are struggling with any worries may not have the capacity to see it from an outside perspective and sharing any ideas of support or solutions can be helpful.”

Spotting the signs

As we’ve discussed, money worries can be a very personal thing and something people fear they will be judged on.

So, it’s not always the case that someone will want to reach out about their money worries.

Identifying that someone might be in financial trouble is the first way to help. Has anything happened recently in their personal life? Have they lost their job, or recently been made redundant? Perhaps they’ve split from their partner, or have they had to move out of their house?

If you do think someone is struggling with money worries, Cordoba suggests: “Check if they want to be helped. Secondly, approach this with kindness and empathy.

“Asking someone how they are doing in general might be a good start and showing genuine willingness to listen,” she says.

“Allow a person to share what they are going through and be heard, letting go of the need for ‘saying the right thing’. Make sure to practice listening without judgement so that they feel comfortable, this will help them more than you know.”

Make it a positive

Talking about money doesn’t have to be all bad, it might even help you reach your goals whether it’s paying off debt, budgeting or saving.

Likely, the majority of us have the same outgoings, be it groceries, rent or mortgage repayments.

By talking to others about money, it’s an opportunity to learn more about ways to save and guidance on how to protect your money that you might benefit from, such as Income Protection or other forms of life insurance.

If you’d like to talk to a professional about your money, whether you want to save more or budget, there are a number of helplines that you can call, including free debt advice from the UK government, or you can speak to a financial adviser.

Related: Money can’t buy you happiness but it’s good to be financially fit